...your last name is Paielli, Ruffolo, or some other overly-Italian name.
...you were the coolest kid in elementary school because you always scored the most goals in your K.A.S.L. games.
...you know that rush hour begins at 3:30pm, not 5 or 6.
...you can walk into SuperValu on 80th Street (or some similar grocery store), and you recognize at least 5 people within 5 minutes.
...the last 5 generations of your family are from Kenosha.
...your family is Italian, is related to Italians, or owes money to Italians.
...when you say that there's nothing to do, you couldn't be more right.
...you know what a "bubbler" is, and you make fun of people from Milwaukee for saying it.
...you're not home at 4am because you're either at IHOP, Marina Gardens, or Miraz.
...you've seen every BlockBuster movie on opening day three times because it was too cold to hang out by the lake.
...you've seen the Food Network special on Frank's Diner every time that it has aired.
...you remember when George Bush came to town, and the entire city shut down.
...you've been pulled over for something extremely stupid by a cop who was probably bored.
...you joke about wearing a bullet-proof vest if you're going to Milwaukee, Racine, or Waukegan.
...you know what "F.I.B." means.
...a Packers-Bears game splits your family down the middle.
...you've always rooted for the Bulls because the Bucks have never been very good.
...you watch the Milwaukee news at 5 and the Chicago news at 6.
...at least 2 of your family members have worked at Chrysler/AMC.
...you don't even think twice about the drive-thru liquor store that you just passed.
...you're shocked when you visit other places, and you find out that there are more cable companies than just Time Warner.
...you know every road around I-94 because your grandma is too afraid to drive on the freehway.
...you're not Italian, but you joke that you're one twelfth Italian by association.
...the only time you've ever seen more than 50 people in place is when the new Harry Potter book or the new StarWars movie comes out.
...you can't believe how bad other student musicians your own age are.
...you've spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out how they connected Simmons Island to the mainland.
...you're shocked to realize nobody else in the state knows the Empire Carpet jingle.
...you hold a completely irrational prejudice against people from Illinois, but both your parents (or you) work in Illinois somewhere!
...you actually recognize the names of places in "That 70's Show".
...you know that the Bong Recreation Area sign is one of the top-10 most stolen signs in America.
...you hate it when people drive down by the lighthouse for 10 seconds and leave, but you do it too.
...you never understood why we have a 1 1/2 mile trolley system that goes absolutely no where.
...you've taken part in more than one illegal activity at Pets.
...if you know someone you never hang out with its because you used to play football or baseball together when you were 9.
...you've experienced 90 degrees and humidity at 60th st & 22nd ave and 65 degrees and chilly at 60th st & 7th ave in the 3 minutes it took you to drive the distance.
...beyond I94 is considered the western frontier and you rarely travel past it unless you’re going to Congo River or Action Territory, that’s ok then.
...you don’t understand why there’s 75 elementary schools (most of which you've never heard of) and only 3 high schools
...life after Bradford, Tremper or I.T.A. usually means Milwaukee, Whitewater or Madison.
...White Caps was the place where the "rich" people lived until you realized the houses there sucked too.
...Big Star is better than Spot, or Spot is better than Big Star. Which side are you on?
...you're high school charges $50 a semester for parking passes due to being overcrowded, and half the lot is still empty.
...you know which blocks, not areas, are the "ghetto" ones and which ones aren’t.
...you're still waiting for that casino to be built because the dog track sucks and no one goes there anyway.
...you're grandparents remember when the house your friend lives in was still farmland, and so do you, because it was only 10 years ago.
...crossing over 75th st is like crossing enemy lines. "you're in Bradford or Tremper territory now boy. (insert redneck accent here)"
...you went crazy for the brand new trendy food place (Starbucks / Coldstone / Panera / Chipotle / Qdoba / Jimmy Johns, etc.)...about 5 years after the rest of the country did.
